Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
