ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
