dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
