So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
