i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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