You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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