I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
