After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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