The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just had sex bonerless
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
