I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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