NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
