Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
