Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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