dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
