Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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