i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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