You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
