She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
