I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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