I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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