Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
