ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
