Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
