This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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