Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
