im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
