Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
