I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
