Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
