what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
