Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
