Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
