Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
