Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
