There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
