I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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