do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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