don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
