I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
