are you so shy because you have an std?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
