I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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