i think my tv is drunk
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Randomize
