I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The ass gains better be worth it
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