K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
