u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
