i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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