Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
