They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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