when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
