A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
