I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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