Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We need to get me chipped asap
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
